


Everybody Knows (Your Sister Does)

by Neon_Opal



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Best Friends, Implied Sexual Content, Inspired by Music, Multi, Please Don't Kill Me, Quintuple Drabble, Sexual Humor, WTF, What Was I Thinking?, are you joking?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-13
Updated: 2013-10-13
Packaged: 2017-12-29 03:00:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1000061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neon_Opal/pseuds/Neon_Opal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ron is listening to a muggle rock band on an old boom box, the song sounds very suggestive to Harry so he decides it may be time to reveal some secrets to Ron , just for fun, that everybody knows about his sister Ginny who is Harry girlfriend...just when it seems to get too outlandish and Ron gets angry and starts to wonder if his friend is pulling his chain, Harry heads for the hills leaving Ron hanging as to what's really true...what are friends for if not to punk on occasion?<br/>All situations/relationships are only talked about by Harry and not very graphically...did any of it really happen? Hence the "Chose not to use archive warnings" but if even the suggestion of some scandalous sexual situations however consensual and of questionable validity…may upset you...this is not for you...to say more more would spoil so you must decide.<br/>What a bored writer ends up doing on a dull Friday night home alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Everybody Knows (Your Sister Does)

Ron was humming away to some hard rock music coming out of a muggle boom box. Harry couldn’t quite catch all the words but the chorus was quite clear….”Nah na na na na nah…Everybody knows your sister does, the writting's on the wall.” Harry had an evil though about revealing something to his best friend whose sister he was dating.

“What’s that playing Ron?”

“Some band from America called Law and Order. You know how my dad loves to tinker with this muggle stuff but some of the music he finds I quite like really.”

“Yeah it’s brilliant, thought maybe someone wrote it about your sister.” Harry said with a straight face.

“What?”

“Are you kidding me Ron?” exclaimed Harry with surprise, “Everybody knows your sister does.”

“Hunn…?” mumbled Ron confused, the song did however seem to have a lot of sexual innuendo now that he thought about more than the guitar riffs and beats.

“They know she does that with nearly everyone.” He emphasized that.

“What, just what are you telling me that Everybody Knows my sister does?”

“If you really don’t know are you sure you want to hear it with details and names?”

“Yes…no…but she’s my sister Harry, and she’s your girlfriend, doesn’t any of this bother you if she’s sleeping around?”

“Not really. It’s brilliant. I’ve got an experienced woman to teach me everything it takes the rest of you years to lean.”

“Blimmy Harry it’s bad enough to know my best friend is shagging my little sister and now you are telling me so is everyone else and everyone seems to know but me?”

“Yep, pretty much, Ginny is very experimental.”

“What the bloody hell does that mean?”

“You really want to know? After I tell you, you can’t unknow it it’s in there for life,” Harry tapped the side of his skull and watched Ron struggle with curiosity and what that would mean knowing about his sister’s sex life.

“Tell me or I think only knowing this much will drive me barmy. So who, what...all that.” Ron pushed his longish hair back from his face.

“Remember you asked and you can’t start hexing everybody agreed?” Harry waited for an answer.

“Agreed.” And they shook hands.

“For starters some of the obvious ones in her year and umm...she likes Slytherins A LOT.”

“Slytherins?!” Ron spat in discuss.

“Well, they are hot, Blaze for sure and Malfoys.” He knew that would really get his friend going.

“Like plural Malfoys?”

“Draco and his dad...I think they had a threesome.”

“Oh Merlin, I’m gonna be sick.”

“And Narcissa once, just because, but Lucius is her favorite.”

“Favorite?” Ron asked in a strangled voice.

“Yeah she digs his high and mighty power trip for some reason and the hair. She told me it’s luscious.” Harry watched Ron’s eyes bugging out. “Then Snape, Slytherin of course…power trip thing there as well and I think she lets him spank her.”

“Bloody Hell! Spanking? How could anyone find Snape attractive at all to do anything? Greasy haired git, ugg, old Snappy naked, think of it.” Ron did look as if he might be about to heave. Harry wondered if he should get a trash can.

“I rather try not to with some of them.” Harry shook his head, “But she and Luna are kind of hot and with Lavender.”

“Lavender? Wait she slept with my girlfriend too? Before or after we broke up? Has she no shame?”

“Apparently not. There were also the twins.” Harry gave him a knowing look.

“Which… twins...?” Ron asked slowly.

“Your brothers, Fred and George, threesome there as well.”

“Our brothers?” Ron exclaimed loudly, “Where is this coming from Harry? You are making it up aren’t you?” He accused his friend finally starting to suspect something and angrily jumping up.

“Am I? I have to leave I’m late, catch you later, “Harry grabbed his bag and hurried out before the other boy could grab him. Leaving a dumbfounded Ron staring after him and wondering if it was a prank or truth or part truth…no surely not. Now those images were stuck in his head! He was going to kill that little git of a best friend later.

THE END 

~*~

**Author's Note:**

> The song is real called "Your Sister Does" from an obscure hard rock band in the 90's called Law and Order that I like. Stumbling across the full album ast week I started to think that song could be amusing story fodder. Though original reference "your sister" almost certainly refers to heroin addiction (i.e. "sister morphine") on closer listen the initial reaction and garble lyrics can certainly imply a promiscuous sister. Since I'm in Potter mode lately not a lot of sisters to choose from so this is what came out. Can't say I've written anything like this before. But the muse grabs you by the ankle like a dog that won't let go and it seemed exactly the thing some teenage boys I've known would have done to razz their best friend.


End file.
